The Marines have a masturbation problem. Apparently too many Marines are using porta potties as “masturbation facilities“. A notice has been posted on all the porta-potties at Camp Leatherneck in Afghanistan ordering Marines not to masturbate or they’ll face disciplinary action under Article 92 UCMJ. Apparently the Garrison Inspection Team is concerned about the health risks….or maybe just the long lines?
“HURRY UP CORPORAL! What is taking so long?!”
I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a joke by some snarky, awesome Marine. It does reminds me though of the time at Camp Al Asad in Iraq, where one of the medics told us that an entire squad of Marines had all reported to sick bay with the same STD a few months prior. Apparently one of them had a fake vagina that they all, ahem, became acquainted with. No one stopped to think that shared masturbation toys could spread STDs.
Semper Fidelis Marines!