Memo to (Golden Mole) Males: Yes, Size Does Matter

Dating could be a lot more interesting if humans took a cue from female golden moles. These blind little mammals from Africa spend their lives underground, rooting around in the dirt looking for grubs. It’s not an environment conducive to roses, chocolates and courtship. So these gals get straight to the point – if you’re a male golden mole, you’d better be packing some heat.

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This mole knows how to party

Yep, our little furry sisters like a male mole with a big penis. Scientists think penis size may be the only way they determine attractiveness of potential mates in the dark, underground tunnels.

Longer penises mean sperm is deposited closer to the area of fertilization. So these little polygamous girls have gotta get a man who can deliver.

Uh, that’s why human females want mates with big penises too.

Unfortunately for us, and as the scientists are quoted as saying, “We tend to have a whole lot of pre-copulatory mechanisms to choose mates and [in humans] penis size really is something that is only discovered once a mate choice has already been made.”

*Snap!*

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