Nice Guys Are the Worst

Nice guy

“Nice guys” are jerks with smaller balls.

Ok, I’m willing to concede that there are genuine nice guys out there. But they’re happily married, related, or otherwise unavailable. The guys left drifting around the dating pool in my age group who call themselves “nice guys” seem to be almost guaranteed to be whiny, small-balled Betas who think they can pull a Cuttlefish (thank you BBC Earth – by offering a shoulder to cry on and then trying to worm into our pants. And they usually have small, soft hands. There’s a correlation there, I’m just waiting for science to prove me right on this one.


Fortunately, a brilliant blogger on Tumblr highlighted the hypocrisy of “nice guys” by showing self-described “nice guys” on OkCupid’s dating site who turned out to be racist and expected women to offer them sex just in return for basic human decency. Really interesting read.

Here’s an illuminating bit from the Daily Mail article on the Tumblr blog that describes the not-so-nice nice guy:

A bitter sense of entitlement for both sex and sympathy from all women for simply being ‘nice’ is prevalent with each of the Nice Guys highlighted on the Tumblr.

Alisse Desroiers commented in a post last year for Feminspire: ‘If these guys were genuinely nice, they wouldn’t be saying things like “the bitch stuck me in the friend zone because she only likes assholes.”‘

Mr Schwyzer agrees, arguing that ‘Nice Guys need… to disabuse them[selves], once and for all, of their insistence that in a just and democratic society, hot young pussy ought to be distributed equally to every Tom, Harry, and Dick who demonstrates a minimal level of civility,’ if they ever want to have a chance at finding true love.

For more, check out BuzzFeed’s hilarious, “Why Nice Guys are the Worst” at


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